We have just come out of a 3 day healing retreat for couples. Beautiful, committed couples.
As I observed the pain, the tears, the truth and the life long struggle pouring out of each of these divine souls, I was reminded that the desire to love our partner through the healing is but a part of our work; it is the ability to do so, the willingness to learn that will bring the joy and happiness back into the relationship.
Training is needed for most of us, in the practice of True Love~
We explored looking deeply at our partners. We learned that if we do not understand one another deeply, we cannot love deeply.
In order to understand and look deeply, we must make the time to do so. Everyday, not only some days.
We explored compassion for our partners. Not only the desire to ease their pain, but to know how to do so by looking deeply, understanding and ‘being’ with our Self and with them.
We explored joy in relationship to our partners. If you suffer, if you cry, if you make one another cry and suffer it is not true love. It is the opposite. Changing this pattern requires both people to look deeply within them Self and to practice looking deeply within their partner. Through understanding, compassion and time we bring joy back into our relationships.
We explored freedom in relationship and our ability to feel free within our Self and through our love, and to provide the freedom that our partner deserves within the relationship to ‘be’.
We spent an entire day looking for, falling into and facing the truth. We practiced speaking our truth in a safe, nurturing environment so that our truth may become the foundation for the truth of our Love. The truth is that not one of us was delivered here to make another happy, yet in the shared desire to bring forth happiness in Self we do so in others freely.
We practiced mindfulness in love; a mindful embrace, a mindful kiss, a mindful walk and a mindful LIFE!
We learned that the suffering in our partners comes from a place deep within and that our suffering too, comes from a place deeply buried. As we learn to embrace our suffering, cradle our suffering, care for our suffering as a gentle mother cares for the suffering of her young one, we learn to do the same for our partners and in this way the suffering begins to disappear for both.
‘Being’ with another who is suffering is not easy, we need to practice this art. If we cannot learn to bring our presence to another who is in pain, if we cannot make the time for this, healing cannot happen….in any relationship.
We explored the real experience of our body and our mind being in two different places. Our body may be sitting right here with another, but our mind is elsewhere and our spirit is asleep. Our partners know this, sense this and are hurt, not healed, through this experience.
We practiced using our breath as a bridge between our body and our mind and in deep breathing bring our body/mind/spirit back to unity and to the space needed by another who is suffering.
Breathing in we say, “I am here for you”, breathing out we say, “I am really here for you”. As you say this with your breath and feel it with your body, your mind and your spirit you will experience a shift in your ability to ‘be’ with another; and they too, will experience your full presence. In this, healing begins.
The greatest gift that you can ever give to another, is your time. In this, before any other action has taken place, healing has begun.
I have experienced no greater honor than to participate in the healing journey of another. I continue to be amazed by the strength, resilience and drive for LIFE! in each of us.
In gratitude, jules
