I cannot give away that which is not mine to give.
Jules Alvarado, Mother to many
I cannot provide peace, tranquility and calm to a wounded child, if I am not at peace and calm.
I cannot provide safety to a child, if I do not feel safe inside.
I must remember my child’s eyes, before they were far away eyes, before they looked right through me, before they were vacant.
I must remember that my child has seen what no child should have ever seen; that my child has heard what no child should have ever heard; that my child has felt what no child has ever felt.
I must remember that the lens through which my child sees life, love, family and relationship is not the same lens through which I see life, love, family and relationship.
My child comes from a land of hurt, shame, abuse and neglect. My land is foreign to her.
My child comes from a home of anger. My home is foreign to her.
My child comes from a life of fear. My love is foreign to her.
We simply cannot expect our children to move into our worlds when we can not spare a few moments to join them in theirs.
We simply cannot expect our children to trust us, because we say so. Many before us have said many things.
We simply cannot expect our children to obey us, because we are right. They have been wronged too many times prior to our right.
If we are to become the conduit to healing such pain in our wounded children, we must first heal ourselves.